Dear Family and Friends,

It is absolutely astonishing to think that Tom's final moments appeared to be only a week ago; even the hospice nurse had said as much.  Fortunately, some remarkable things have occurred since then.  

The first has been an outpouring of prayer for Tom, along with an amazing show of love from everyone.  I firmly believe that all of this had a healing effect on Tom's soul; it reminded him of how very much he would be missed, and this has given him the will to fight what is attacking his body.

He has made an incredibly significant, albeit tentative, comeback.  The blood work came back, and the doctor said that the liver levels are "stable, which is good," and the "electrolytes are okay as well."  That said, the gastroenterologist literally bombarded us with prescription ideas for what would help with the nausea and vomiting.  We had to choose, as there was just no way to go on all of them.  The doctor had written down around six different choices.  The hospice nurse recommended an item called dexamethasone, a steroid whose purposes appear to be quite broad and numerous.  One of its functions is to serve as an antiemitic (a nausea supressor), and the nurse said it would help him.

Well, it is apparently a lot more effective than Zofran.  Moreover, Tom has been able to eliminate and keep food down.  His strength is starting to return ever so slowly.  He wants to get up and move around, and he is spending a lot more time downstairs.  He also took the aforementioned trips to the lab (this was a very big deal, as he originally said that he wasn't going to go unless the hospice nurse could draw blood at the house); he also took the trip to the dentist and Safeway.  The fact that he wanted to be out and about, in such a short amount of time, was unbelievably encouraging.

Every day, he has been eating a little bit more.  Has he "gone green" and started drinking the grassy shakes that I restarted for myself this last weekend?  No, but if he is keeping things down, I'd like to start small and give little shot glasses full of them.  These days, I always put a fresh young coconut on his little medical table, with a straw stuck in it.  He does take a few swigs of this a day, but he doesn't enjoy it.  Even though I wind up drinking the rest of it, it's a start.  For those who are not aware, fresh coconut water has many health benefits!

Here is the EXCITING part, though.  Tom asked for a Reliv shake... on his own!  These shakes will give Tom the nutrients he needs so that his immune system can fight back.  They're not his favorite thing to drink, so the fact that he asked for a shake in order to get some energy was a real breakthrough!  Please continue to pray that Tom chooses to help himself!  This is going to be a slow process, but it needs to belong to Tom, not me.  

Last night, Tom came to the Eldridge School musical that I'm directing.  Bobby brought him (thank you, Bobby!!!), and he had a great time.  Everyone in the audience gave him a standing ovation for his insisting that the kids get to put on the show despite his cancer diagnosis.  Our principal also acknowledged his generous spirit, and I dedicated the show to him.   Tommy got all choked up, and it was a beautiful moment.  Tom has always loved coming to these shows, and last night was no different.  The kids were fantastic!  There is another showing tonight at 7 p.m. (Friday, May 15th) if you would like to go.  Tickets are only $5.

After I give all of the rentals back, the show will be over, and I will be able to focus full-time on Tom.  This will not be easy for either of us, as there will need to be a meeting of the minds --- and more sensitivity than I naturally possess --- regarding how to proceed regarding the cancer itself.  Ultimately, I know that only God will choose to heal and cure Tom.  Personally, I gravitate heavily toward a complete healing.  But, as "productive" as that might be, I have to remember that this is not my fight or my race.  I can provide opportunities and protocols, and I can contact clinics everywhere, and these may or may not provide a cure... but I have to remember that healing comes at a price, and I don't mean a financial price.  Financial issues are the least of our concerns.  Rather, healing demands that life be led differently than it was before.  Healing also demands a changed heart and mind that MUST come from the very person that needs healing.  When I was looking up alternative clinics, one of them listed diseases as "healing opportunities."  Indeed, they are... whether they are diseases of the mind or body.  Yes, people sometimes die during the process of healing... but they also sometimes survive!  We must not forget that this can go either way!  I do not know exactly where God is leading us.  But what does Scripture tell us?  The Apostle Paul stated in Romans to "be transformed by the renewal of your mind."  In Ephesians, he urged us "to be renewed in the spirit of your mind."  In Colossians, he said "put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator."  In Psalms, it says "renew a steadfast spirit within me."  In Ezekiel, it says "a new heart also I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within."  Does God care about our hearts and minds when it comes to healing?  Of course he does!  I could have gone on and on, but it is abundantly clear --- according to the Holy Scriptures --- that both our heart and mind matter very much in the process of healing.  Whether God chooses to take Tommy or allows him to stay, I pray that His Grace will grant Tommy a steadfast and renewed spirit until the very end of his life... which I petition Him to postpone through both His healing and curative power.

You might legitimately ask:  what is more important, a cure... or healing?  Ultimately, healing is more important.  For the reasons why, I offer an excerpt from a website called spirituallygrowingwithcancer.org.  Here it is:

Cure may occur without healing; healing may occur without cure.
Cure separates body from soul; healing embraces the whole.
[Cure looks at what sort of disease a person has; healing looks at what sort of person has the disease—derived from Hippocrates. Cure categorizes; healing individualizes. Cure addresses disease; healing addresses illness.]
Cure isolates; healing incorporates.
[Cure is technical; healing is relational.]
Cure costs; healing enhances.
Cure combats sickness; healing fosters wellness.
[Cure fixes; healing corrects. Cure is reactive; healing is proactive.]
Cure fosters function; healing fosters purpose.
Cure alters what is; healing offers what might be.
[Cure controls; healing frees.]
Cure is an act; healing is a process.
[Cure closes the past; healing opens the future. Cure is a goal; healing is a quest. Cure seeks to change reality; healing embraces reality. Cure takes charge; healing takes time.]
Cure acts upon another; healing shares with a sister, a brother.
[Cure speaks; healing listens. Cure is produced by power; healing grows from surrender.]
Cure manages; healing touches.
[Cure depends on dispassionate skill; healing depends on compassionate care.]
Cure seeks to conquer pain; healing seeks to transcend pain.
[Cure is taunted by suffering; healing is taught by suffering.]
Cure avoids grief; healing assumes grief.
Cure encounters mystery as a challenge for understanding; healing encounters mystery as a channel for meaning.
[Cure often issues from fear; healing usually issues from faith.]
Cure rejects death and views it as defeat; healing includes death among the blessed outcomes of care.

-Fred Recklau (author of Partners in Care, Medicine and Ministry Together) 

In other words, a bona fide cure is a wonderful thought!!!  However, a truly lasting cure (in the physical sense of cure) must come from a healed heart and mind.  The essence of Tommy is his big heart.  This terminal diagnosis is challenging and stretching him.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that a true healing will come when Tom actively pursues wellness while transcending the pain.  This is an exceedingly difficult task.  Tom --- and all of us --- must rely on God for strength.

We cherish your friendship and love, and continue to be blessed and humbled by your thoughtfulness.  TJ's twelfth birthday was on May 11th.  A co-worker, knowing that I was swamped, came by with a full spaghetti dinner, a cake, balloons, and more delicious dishes.  TJ's closest friends came to visit that night, and because of my dear co-worker and friend, our son had a great birthday.

PLEASE call, write, and visit!  Please continue to pray for all of us.  Life feels so uncertain; please pray that we remain in the moment, and maintain a very positive mindset that aims toward God's gifts of LIFE and HEALING.  Also, please pray that Tom utilizes effective protocols that are already here in our house.  The gastroenterologist said that if he gets the elimination and nausea under control, he has a chance of helping himself!  Please pray that we love life for what it holds TODAY, and that we embrace Tom --- figuratively AND literally --- every day. The Lord Our God is good!   

Love, 

The Canterberrys

Dear Friends and Family,

No, I'm not out at a spa.  🙂

However, I am enjoying my boys, and our 4-legged daughter.  Despite the uncertain circumstances, life is good, and I am determined to remain positive, strong, and hopeful.  I started using the NutriBullet again, after a 2-week hiatus that consisted of apathy, very little eating, and internal sadness.  My intestines --- not to mention my heart and mind --- did not appreciate taking a break from the incredible nutrition available in live, raw, green foods.  Thus, I'm back at it... and, taking Reliv.  The effects were almost immediate.

Two lovely teacher buddies came over a couple of nights ago, and were extolling the virtues of fresh coconut water, and its ability to give Tom some terrific, real electrolytes.  So, one of them, an amazing whirling dervish of a woman, came over with a whole crate full of young coconuts from 99 Market... complete with a coconut screw so that you can stick a straw inside and drink right from the coconut.  The first night, it burned Tom's throat going down.  This morning, it didn't!!!  A major praise that he was willing to try again!  Regarding the medical side of all this, Tom's test results from the blood work came back.  I left a message for the gastroenterologist to get back to us regarding the numbers.  I'm sorry I don't have the medical knowledge to interpret them for you; they have a range of normal, but I don't know when numbers are only a little out of whack or WAY out of whack.  (When his calcium levels were only six-tenths outside of normal a few weeks ago, a nurse said it was way too high and to stop any calcium supplements (?!)).  The doctor did say this, though:  if he can get the nausea, constipation, and pain to be at some sort of manageable level, he might have a chance of helping himself.  One thing is for certain:  the real problem will not be resolved as long as he is on any medications from the narcotic family of drugs.  The job now is to find an alternative pain killer that will allow the digestive tract to work properly.  This is not going to be easy, but it is our next task.

The Lord is definitely doing a work in our lives, and in our hearts.    Mostly, I'm learning how to trust in His plan for our lives, learning how to petition our Heavenly Father, but also accepting that what I want may not be His will.  I'm also reading a lot of inspirational stories of people who have overcome hardship.  These keep me going every day.  I can't help but feel hopeful when I read that Julio Iglesias spent two years unable to walk, or see that a "Dancing with the Stars" contestant is competing with one arm and half a leg, or see that Kevin Sorbo decided to keep up his spirits after three strokes.  I also think about my dad and mom, who went through so much hardship.  I will never forget the repeated site of my father joining us for every harrowing road trip and outing, spending as much time with his grandson as he could, dragging his half a working body around to every museum, amusement park, state fair, and tourist attraction.  And my brother, who never stops working and trying despite the challenges.

Right now, the only thing I can do is be positive and lavish Tom with love, as this experience is just as much a part of his life as anything else has been so far.  Please continue to pray that a song will be in his heart, a smile will be on his face, and the spirit to keep going will prevail.  He wants to feel well enough to continue, and I certainly can understand that.  All of you are playing an instrumental part in inspiring and cheering him.  Please know how very much we love all of you, and we are incredibly humbled and grateful for your kindness, thoughtfulness, and help.

Life is full of many blessings, and friends and family like you have made this one of the happiest Mother's Days in all of these twelve years since we first brought that gorgeous baby home from the hospital.  Thank you for everything.  I can honestly say that I am a very lucky mom, and that our household has been immeasurably blessed.

Love,

The Canterberrys

Dear Friends and Family,

Tommy just went to a teeth-cleaning at the dentist, and shopping with me at Safeway!  He is also sitting up in our living room!  I'm overjoyed just to have him care about being out and about, getting things done.  

Before running these errands, the dear saints of Christ Church Tri-Valley, along with our beloved Pastor, came over to pray with Tom, talk with him, and give him Communion.  Praise God for these men!

Yesterday afternoon, the Eldridge teachers came by to bring food, company, and comfort.  One of them, who is also ordained pastor, anointed Tommy's head with oil and said a powerful prayer over him.  We were also treated with a surprise visit from Tiger.

The sight of Tom sitting up in our living room during the day is a joy to behold.  God is a great God!  Please continue to pray... pray for a miracle, pray for peace, and pray for His will to be done.  Any three of these will leave all of us with big responsibilities, so pray for diligence, perseverence, and love as well!  

Love,

The Canterberrys